How do I ask someone to coffee without sounding like I am asking for a date?

How do I ask someone to coffee without sounding like I am asking for a date?

You can check the answer of the people under the question at Quora “how to ask for a coffee chat

0 thoughts on “How do I ask someone to coffee without sounding like I am asking for a date?”

  1. So Today i asked Well Maturated Girl to have coffee with me…
    Me : Hey hi sssup?
    She: Nm
    Me : What are you doing?
    She: jst Enjoying sundy!!!
    Me: thts great!! Your so good in coding!!! teach me ……
    She: sure… thanks 🙂
    Me: So Today is great day Would you like to guide me in freetime over coffee ??
    Blue Ticks …
    15 min silence…..
    She: sure!!!

  2. If you use any sentence with the word “coffee” in it, it will sound like what you don’t want it to. If the person is a good friend you could say something casual on the spot like “I’m hungry are you? Wanna grab something to eat?” Many wouldn’t refuse that out of politeness and it sounds more real and genuine. 🙂

  3. Be direct. Say straight up you’re not asking for a date you’re just wondering if the person would like to join you for coffee. Idk why people aren’t more upfront about it being a date or not. I’ve been on so many “dates” I thought were just friends hanging out because the men weren’t clear when they asked. Be clear if it’s supposed to be a date or not.

  4. i don’t want to discourage you from your pursuit but i find approaching a strange person, even if they’re stunning or the most beautiful woman in the world, to be a flaky way of getting dates. you’ll likely change all of with the exception of buying a coffee if you both happen to be in a coffee shop, your entire behaviors and actions and i learned that is a sure bet to be declined so i don’t bother. if you’re ripped, tall and handsome then sure, just approach and ask but if you’re not all those things, i’d just let her be and worry about myself. i meet women anyway being myself and being socially active within my conviction so i don’t trouble myself with the thought of running into some hot babe and hope i get her number. but if you must absolutely give it a try, you could find something about her outfit or her appearance and think of something to ask about it. don’t tell her she’s beautiful or mention anything about her appearance that would suggest a sexual agenda or anything creepy. there’s a million things you can pick out that are appropriate but i find that being amicable with anyone and everyone will increase your chance of bagging this particular person.

  5. Do you really just want to talk like friends or actually want a date with her? Many a times, guys because of the fear of rejection, try to convert their date to a friendly hangout. If you have romantic feelings for her, simply ask for a date. Yes, chances of rejection are there but nothing happens without courage. Also, if she’s not interested, you can move on with other girls.
    But if you are sure that only friendship you want, then as suggested by Michelle and others, ask casually to go out for snacks. Mind you, that might friendzone you, do it only if you are sure of friendship and nothing more.

  6. Your getting very mixed up between your courtesy about t inviting them to join you fora cup of coffer, and your real desire that you would love to ask them for a date. Its not easy to resolve such a conflicting situation, particularly when you have a very convincing knowledge that if your wife ever found out, you would wake one morning to discover that your ‘wee willy winky’ had been fried in the chip pan along with the rest of your breakfast. A sobering thought that could certainly influence your decisions.

  7. Something along the line of: ”Hey, you want to grab some coffee? Not as a date but to just talk some more.”
    Anything less than that, and there will always be confusion.

  8. The man I eventually married was able to get me to go and meet over coffee. I had cussed him a few days earlier, and I thought this might be a setup, or something, but it wasn’t. The coffee meet got us somewhat curious about the other, and now we’ve been together 7 years, 4, married. Best cup of coffee EVER!!

  9. Something casual, where other person has options of deciding what they want to do, if it is at their preferred time etc.
    How about a cup of coffee or tea at “xyz” cafe maybe tomorrow in evening?

  10. When ever ask you to some one who is special for you than ask with valid reason(back up plan).
    So you can create one back up plan, if he/she reagret for 1st plan.
    And your relation will be maintaine.

  11. Just mention, at the time of coffe more preferrably, that here is a new place that makes awesome Cappucino so why not we check it out? Asking for a coffee by saying something like,”ok so how about we meet for a coffee” is often taken literally with no bells-whistles added to it. But assume for an instant that the other person takes it in another, you can always clear the fog by saying, it was just a coffee. When you are not inviting the person for anything else other than just a coffee, it shouldn’t be a concern for you if the other person assumes it to be something else. So just ask,go for it, enjoy the coffee and company of that person.
    That said, if you just want to talk to that person, and I am assuming that you do meet that person often, asking especially for a coffe is going to sound like you are willing to know him/her more closely and may raise curiosity . Just so you know!

    Eight O’Clock

  12. If you actually, have no romantic feelings, I dont think your behaviour will exert that.
    When you ask casually, assuming you dont have feelings, it has a different flow than when you ask with romantic feelings.
    The absence of fear of what he/she’ll say to your offer will make them understand the intention.

  13. I fell for the whole “Let’s hang out” line *once*.
    I grew up in the day and age when that line was decidedly not a date. I wasn’t attracted to this obviously older man at all, I simply believed that he wanted to talk photography. Boy was I wrong. He asked to *hang out* again, and after I finished asking myself, “wtf, is he asking me on a DATE??” I fled and blocked his number.
    If you truly don’t want it to be a date, make sure the other person knows this. If you do, let them know so they can make their decision based on your feelings. Don’t leave it up in the air.

  14. Most people I know consider meeting for coffee a FORM of a date-albeit a casual form of one. Perhaps, if all you want to do is discuss a book or talk about fishing (or whatever), the best approach would be to specifically include that in your invitation. Something like: “I am doing a research paper on the civil war and you seem to know a lot about it. Mind if I pick your brain over coffee?”
    If it is a date of sorts (you’re just interested) but you don’t want it to get too serious or too soon, just don’t play it up lot. Be casual (while also being respectful). Perhaps say something like “I’m going for coffee after class. Do you want to join me?” THAT way, they can say yes (or no) without it appearing to have a great impact on you-you were going anyway, after all).

  15. It goes like this..
    Intent for dating…
    “Hey, you’re attractive but good looks are common. I like to get to know you over a coffee.”
    Without intent and just friends..
    “Man I need to grab a coffee. Listen, let’s go and grab a coffee before I fall flat on my face. You’re in? Great. Let’s go.”
    As you can see, the first has attraction in there. The second hasn’t.

    Victor Allen’s

  16. Fascinating. Would love to catch up with you for a coffee sometime to talk more but at the moment I need to run out on you yo get to a thing. Can I grab a mobile number off you.


  17. There is a girl in my class. For some time I wanted to ask her out for the coffee. One day I saw her standing near the Nescafe in campus. She was waiting for someone. I was in a hurry but I stopped myself and went to her.
    Me: Hey, what are you doing here?
    She: Waiting for abc.
    Me: Ok, me too waiting for xyz. I collected the courage inside me but a cool expression outside and said “Let’s have coffee.”
    She: Yeah, please. I’m dying.
    Me: Let me buy.
    She: Are you asking me for the coffee. She laughed.
    Me: Kind of.
    We had a good talk over coffee.


Leave a Comment