How do I approach women in a coffee shop for a date?

How do I approach women in a coffee shop for a date?

You can check the answer of the people under the question at Quora “woman at a coffee shop

0 thoughts on “How do I approach women in a coffee shop for a date?”

  1. This is a bit tricky, have you met this woman before? Do you know her from somewhere? Yes, you can just walk right up to her and ask her out but she might give you a knee in groin as well because damn that was creepy as I don’t know what?
    You need to make her acquaintance and talk to her for a bit and see if she’s open to speaking to guys she doesn’t know. And I have to assume this as you were pretty scant on the details there Skippy.
    Then you need to see if she is wearing a ring indicating married or engaged or something like that. Not all woman wear a ring so the next step, if she is open to meeting and talking, is to then just talk, be friendly. Be smooth and hope she seems interested, ask her if she comes here much? If she does then try and be there when she comes in and rekindle the conversation.
    Yeah, it’s a long way to go but if you don’t remember the knee/groin thing and that will help you recall why you want to use the smooth approach to dating.
    Now at some point you might ask her if she’s like to get have lunch together sometime or or something and if she yes then you are on your way. However, don’t be surprised if she blows you off. Trust me, you can do it all right and she just doesn’t like the vib or you remind her of a bad experience or some damn thing, she might even be a lesbian. That actually has happened to me twice. Really all you can do is look at her and laugh and say, “I knew you and I had some stuff in common.”
    Also, you may never see her again. it’s just one of those thing Bro. Good luck! Go for it, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

  2. Don’t start at the end (a date).
    Start at the beginning: do this by being interesting and charming. Find out if she is worth the effort to (eventually) ask on a date. She may not be. Not all women are.
    Ask questions. Be funny. Do your research.
    Just as all long term relationships start off as one night stands, most dating situations demand interest on the part of both people.
    Be interesting. Seduction is part charm, part confidence, part mystery. Get the parts right, and then see if she can reciprocate.
    If she can’t, move on. Life’s too short for several things: drinking cheap, bad wine, playing bad golf, chasing women who are not worth the effort.

  3. I would try to make eye contact first. If she never looks up from the kindle/book/whatever you should correctly interpret that as “I’m working/busy” and you’re out of luck. Deal with it.
    If you do make eye contact, smile at her. If she holds your eye or studies you, you’re in luck-perhaps then approach.
    Be aware the random creep factor here is high-you are going to strike out regularly.
    If you approach, don’t sit at her table or ask to sit: try to make a comment about what she’s doing: Hey, do you prefer e-books to paper? Something like that. Don’t talk about her body.
    If she gives a short answer and returns to her activity, please correctly interpret that as an opportunity to eff-off AND LEAVE HER ALONE.

  4. With your permission I’m going to paraphrase my answer to a similar question asked about approaching women at a library.
    Alex Schamenek’s answer to How to properly approach a girl in the library?
    I think it answers the question pretty well, although it’s a bit easier if you go to school and see a girl at the library. People can spend all day at a library. It’s a tad more causal. Her guard is not up as high. There are fewer people and it’s quiet so you don’t have to yell. And chances of seeing her again are better at a school than they are at a coffee shop. This gives you a chance to see her again and ask her out over and over again, building rapport, and wearing her down until she says yes. The coffee shop is still possible though. If you play your cards right, you can make contact and if she’s open to it and if you’re nice enough and not too intrusive, you can get her number for a date, if she’s available and likes you enough. So, here’s my advice.
    Do it quickly. Assume she’s too busy to talk right now so forget the “comment on her reading material” suggestions. That’s too obvious and it implies you want to engage her in conversation. She’ll see right through it. If you go that route, and she’s busy, you are essentially ignoring what is important to her: her time and concentration. You’ll be acting rude. You’ll be communicating to her that your selfish superficial desires are more important than her needs. She’ll be thinking, rightfully so, “can’t you see I’m busy?” and you’ll never ever get that date.
    Ask her a question instead, then immediately jump to a superficial compliment, as if taken by surprise. I can not stress enough the importance of the compliment being superficial *. “Excuse me. Is there an electrical outlet behind your… Oh wow! You have the prettiest eyes.” She is guaranteed to smile. She’ll look behind her chair, say no, or yes, then return to her reading. Let her. Plug in your laptop or whatever. Sit down nearby. Then, in a minute or so, get her attention again and say something like, “I’m sorry. I know you’re busy but I just can not help myself. You’re just too striking and I’ll regret it all day long if I don’t try to get your number.” Be direct. Be courageous. She’ll be more open to it if you’re confident.**

    Women aren’t always too closed minded to recognize that love can happen in the blink of an eye and that when they meet the man of their dreams, they are not necessarily going to be ready. They could be in sweats, with no makeup and raggedy hair. Still, love happens. They know that they can meet that man at any moment. You can’t plan spontaneity. If she’s too wrapped up in her own little world to see that the most important things in life usually happen when they are least prepared, thank your lucky stars she blew you off. She’s not worth it. She is clearly more concerned with planning her life around the unimportant things like success and career than enjoying the important things in life like love and family. Thank God that you dodged the bullet.
    I’m too cowardly to do this myself, but I see the quick-number-pickup all the time with my good buddy who time and again gets girls’ numbers in the grocery store, at the convenience store, the gas station, the laundromat, the mall, the movie theater, and at coffee shops. Everywhere. You can do it too.

    One thing that’s potentially good about the coffee shop as compared to the library is she might actually be open to a conversation. So if she reacts positively to your initial compliment or the followup request for her number, test the waters and see if she really is busy. Who knows. You might have your first date right there.
    *Deeper compliments like “I like that necklace” are openings for conversation. Completely inappropriate if she’s busy. The pretty necklace is also potentially too casual and platonic right now. She won’t know that you’re interested. What you want is a quick and fast make-her-feel-good-about-herself pick-me-up and a quick indicator of your romantic interest. The superficial pretty eyes, pretty smile, beautiful hair, you are gorgeous compliments are your currency right now.
    **The return is extremely effective. It says to her that you’ve been thinking about her. It makes her feel special. It’s an indicator that you are interested in more than friendship. And it makes it seem as if you’re a thinker, yet decisive, and that you take action. Very masculine. Very effective. Do it when you ask a girl for her number. Do it when you go on a date and go for the first kiss: hug her goodnight, walk away about 20 feet, then turn around, walk back up to her and just take that kiss. She will swoon. Promise.

  5. It is actually quite simple; you go up to her and ask her whether she’s in a relationship and / or whether she would bre interested in going to “whatever” as yr “date.”

  6. There has been a revolution in these kind of location based casual dating usecases. Use technology as your wingman/girfriend.
    It is always hard to approach complete strangers. You can read a encyclopedia on tricks but they is no guarantee it will work. Different people, different environments everything adds complexity. They are probably not expecting..and you can get nervous..and act awkwardly. Also research has shown that you are more prone to be calm and confident if he/she is not physically infront of you. There is a reason why people practice pickup lines infront of a mirror.
    There are several mobile apps which target and solve this exact problem. Try aLatte. It is location based and allows you to protect your privacy. You can chat with the stranger in the coffee shop and be comfortable before actually greeting him/her physically.
    Also if it does not work out, you don’t feel rejected. There is no public scene
    If you have an iPhone try out aLatte. ( Get it?
    Disclaimer: I am the founder of aLatte

    Victor Allen’s

  7. Post a Missed Connection on like “Hey girl at SomeCoffeeShop with the mac and the headphones. I think you’re cute but don’t want to bother you. Email me. Sincerely, Guy sitting at the table across the room.”
    Or just get her name by looking up which computers are on the coffee shop’s network (Apple computers are always named after their owners) and friend her on Facebook.

  8. Why bother? I don’t think you can. It may actually be easier to approach a table with two or more? They feel safer? Easier is a woman with children? Find a way to intrest children. They’re probably bored& curious. An easy magic trick is good. But then again, why bother?

  9. Yeah just approach her and ask what she is reading? Ask her how is the book she is reading . Ask her name and tell her that she looks very attractive you would like to take her out.


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