Does it mean anything when a guy offers you coffee?
You can check the answer of the people under the question at Quora “when he makes you coffee“
Does it mean anything when a guy offers you coffee?
You can check the answer of the people under the question at Quora “when he makes you coffee“
He just came back from Starbucks and offered to give you his untouched coffee? Or did he offer you a sip of the coffee he was drinking? Were you in the break room and he offered to get you coffee? I’m confused. How was the coffee presented?
Unless he asks you out for coffee, I don’t think it means anything apart from him not being afraid of your cooties.
If he’s naked when he serves it, it speaks volumes. Other than that, he’s interested in getting to know you and is making small talk.
You can’t tell anything from an isolated incident. It could be anything from, he’s a sexual predator sizing you up, to he’s a nice guy, to his New Year’s resolution or Lenten vow was to do one kind thing a day and he was getting it out of the way, to he’s in a Masters of Sociology degree program and his offer and your reaction were part of his thesis research. Or any of a thousand other things.
Humans are complicated and have sometimes complex motivations.
Unless you were asking what it meant that you declined his offer — wait, for that, please see the Quora question, “I had a cup of coffee at work, and I noticed that a co-worker was looking tired. When I offered to buy her a cup of coffee to wake her up, she said ‘no’. Does it mean anything?”
PS: romantic relationships at work are a bad idea.
It’s called being polite. I do it on automation.
When I am at home or at work, or even at cafe and someone is walking in with, I ask..
“So you want some coffee, what you like?”
It only means something when you do something about it, which looking at your question, you won’t because only passive people ask such questions.
Well I am sure it means SOMETHING. This depends on what your relationship is with this guy. Maybe he likes you or maybe he is just being nice
Yes it means he might just want to sit with you and talk over a coffee. Accept the coffee and give him your time because he thought enough of you to ask.
Peet’s
Coffee is often the perfect ploy when what we really mean is “I’d like to get to spend some time with you/ get to know you better/ take you to bed…”
It’s very hard to find offence in being asked for coffee as such, or in the offer being rejected. Either way, nothing needs to change
However, you’ve given perhaps the perfect example of why that works, and how hard people are to read.
The scene you describe could be exactly what it seemed, and his motivation no more than to cheer up a colleague.
Don’t let’s get too analytical here but consider when and where the guy had coffee and how he noticed you were tired. You might have been in a meeting, perhaps with others; sitting at neighbouring desks; sitting nearby in the canteen; one sitting in the canteen and the other strolling past… even as I write, I notice there seems to be no real downside here and he’s in the clear…
Isn’t ‘You look tired. Some coffee might wake you up…’ very much the same as saying ‘You look awful…’?
Can anyone really hear that as a pick-up line?
Ohhhhh! The old coffee story! Yeah, I know this one. Ask me! Ask me!!
Thanks for the A2A, Cassie.
So do you want the long or the short answer? Grab a cup of coffee, and let’s chat (see what I did there? I did not offer to get it for you, I am letting you get your own. NO obligation involved!:)..clever)
Okay, I will spare you the sordid details (and the coffee expense) and give you the short answer.
I will begin by saying this: I have travelled the world (well have not as yet gotten to Africa, Antarctica, and Australia, but getting there :)), and in all the other continents, the coffee offer means…….coffee (Buenos Aires is the exception, but the behaviour observed around this issue is unique to the Argentine Tango community, so I will not slap the guilty stamp across the entire S.A. continent behind that), but in the USA, my experience has been that coffee has various connotations…..and all such roads lead to whoopie!
I have had more-than-I-wish-to-recall experiences, where a simple offer of coffee would somehow very rapidly get derailed to…. Can I examine your orifices? Don’t ask me how this happens, I still am at a loss as to where in that interaction did I agree to perform such acts with them. I concluded that perhaps in American language (or culture) coffee is code for, and a precursor to ‘sex.’
So now whenever I get a coffee invitation, I would break out in a rash, which of course would confuse the person extending the invitation, then I would have to explain that I am allergic.
You are allergic to coffee?
No, not to coffee, but to the word……In fact, please stop saying it.
You see, in one of the most extreme cases involving a classmate, we ended up going to court, because somehow he misconstrued my act of having coffee with him over a one year period as,
“I thought God had sent you to me to be my wife.”
Those were his exact words, I shit you not.
We were classmates in the master’s program. I worked on campus, and he managed to always be “in the area,” when I was taking a break, or getting off work (in his defense, yeah, I missed a lot of red flags that had been thrown up).
I did not see anything strange there, as he resided a few blocks from campus, and spent much of his time on campus, studying. The coffee shop was right below my office, which was the administrative building. I therefore would not be as presumptuous to think that the man was there just to be around me. He could have been at the student affairs office, or just hanging out in Starbucks. But those were obviously lethal oversights.
End result, after the programme came to an end, which meant that the coffee time would be no more, he could not deal with me saying no to the dinner invitations and other ‘get together’ invitations. He had a sudden outburst during one of our phone conversations (both shocked and scared the hell out of me), and my hanging up the phone was followed by persistent, lengthy, voluminous emails of unreal diatribe, pointedly telling me that I had led him on.
I totally fucking missed how I did that! And even now, a decade later, I still don’t get it.
I had to file a restraining order to make it stop. We went to court, I won (despite the fact that he brought his mom to have the sympathy scale tip in his favour). His life became hell. He chilled. No, I did not say he became contrite, I said he chilled – because he had to. Two years later, he contacted me to ask that I retract it, because every time he crossed any borders they’d give him a load of shit (Hmm! I guess now he knows what that feels like!).
Did I retract it? Nah. That would be stupid of me, wouldn’t it?
Did I ever have coffee again? Nah!
Only with folks I know. New relationships would have to use another word, ‘coffee’ was thereafter a prohibited request in my books.
There were other cases before that one, but none as insane, and none that left such an indelible scar.
If Lipton ever decided to have a campaign to put the Starbucks out of business, his picture (he had actually sent me photos of himself in a speedo (the man is about 60 years old!!), and my story will do the job, 100% guaranteed!!
I might even agree to be their poster girl….For free!
PS: Why am I bolding that phrase in the first paragraph? Because for sure, I will get some dumb comment from someone, who will, in their over-zealousness to appear intelligent enough to hold an opposing view (for no reason other than ‘because they can’), ignore all the obvious statements that this is a response expressing ONLY my experience , and will write something totally fucking stupid that begins with,
“Well I will have to disagree with you……”
Then I will have to go through the trouble of reading half of their first line and frantically searching for the ‘delete’ button, all the while praying that I can resist the irrepressible urge to tell them how much this pointless response contributed to wasting both our time.
Now why didn’t Quora think of that idea of creating an ‘idiot’ button? Hmm, maybe I can put that in the suggestion box the next time Adam hosts a Q&A.
Victor Allen’s
No I take my first dates to coffee shops all the time, it’s the perfect place for a first date,
Thanks for the A2A!
I think he was just trying to be nice. If he hadn’t already had coffee, and asked you to go get some with him I may think he was trying to flirt.
Dunkin’
The man I eventually married, asked me to meet him over coffee. He did have a hidden agenda, but I didn’t know about it until after we were married and I asked him why he was attracted to me, especially since he had never gone out of his way to get to know me before. I had also cussed him to the end of the earth and back again, and a few days later, he’s asking me for coffee!! He told me that any woman who had the backbone to stand her ground, and cuss him to his face, as I did, that woman was someone he wanted on his team!!
It may mean something, it may mean nothing. We don’t know him, or how you interact, or his general way to showing interest in women, etc.
I would suggest not reading too much into it.
It means he thought you wanted coffee, and he was willing to get you some.
No one can read anyone’s mind or find out their intentions. It is possible he may wanted to buy you a cup because you did look tired.
It is also possible he may wanted to talk. We don’t know.
It could simply mean he’s trying to be considerate or friendly.
If he’s someone you’re interested in, the best thing to go on is the chemistry you and he have, if any. Try to get to know him better if this is the case. Chemistry is not tangible in this sense but you’ll know it when it’s there.
Yes. It means he’s offering you coffee. Don’t think of us as just guys. We’re people first. Now rephrase: “Does it mean anything, when a PERSON offers you coffee?” Now the question answers itself, in a way, when you read it. Doesn’t it? It’s one human offering another, coffee.
Women and girlsvoften run into the same pitfall of assuming every interaction we have with them, holds some sort of romantic or sexual motive. This causes a lot of men to be rejected by women we aren’t even pursuing. In which case, makes her the fool. Just accept the coffee, if you fancy a cup. If not, decline and it’s just as well. Good luck.
If he just happened to have coffee and noticed you were tired and offered you some. I would consider that a friendly gesture.
However, if he went out of his way to go buy a coffee and deliver it to your desk with no apparent logical reason other than to brighten your morning…..then i would consider that a gesture of interest to explore or pay attention to further. You also kind of have to pay attention to his behavior. Is his personality a little different when around you? Does he give you a little deeper eye contact than the typical other woman co-workers? Or maybe he might even have a hard time keeping eye contact with you when you talk. Does he always seem to find his way into your path or area? Those kind of signs along with buying you a random coffee are signs of attraction in men. Men are typically much more active in pursuing than women. I would consider not taking it too seriously yet until you observe more and see what he does.
Eight O’Clock
The office environment has evolved a lot in the past few decades and work ethics have changed a lot.
Seeing a co-worker feeling tired can have an averse impact on other employees too. If that person cannot perform at full efficiency, the performance of other people may get degraded.
In such cases, if your boss or your co-worker offers you coffee or anything to make you feel better, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have something else on their mind. They may be genuinely concerned about you and want to cheer you up.
If you want to turn it into something, then that’s upto you entirely, but the guy need not have ulterior motives for offering you coffee.
Based on another answer I read on here, it means he likes you and he asked someone how to ask a girl out, one of the ways is offer her coffee. haha.
You are at work – so my guess is he was being a considerate co-worker, and a nice person offering you some coffee. Don’t read anything into it, beyond that.