At the coffee shop I frequently visit, there is a very attractive waitress. Is there a non-creepy way of asking her out?

At the coffee shop I frequently visit, there is a very attractive waitress. Is there a non-creepy way of asking her out?

You can check the answer of the people under the question at Quora “why did the coffee shop server love the job

0 thoughts on “At the coffee shop I frequently visit, there is a very attractive waitress. Is there a non-creepy way of asking her out?”

  1. Unfortunately I can’t see when you posted this question but personally i would advise against asking her out.
    She could say yes, she could say no, but either way if you two break up or she rejects you it will make going there awkward.
    Plus if she is attractive that means she gets hit on A LOT by customers. So unless you are JUST as good looking or better looking than her I would advise against it.

  2. It’s called the volleyball technique.
    I learned this approach by seeing how other men flirted with my female co-workers when I worked at Starbucks. It’s really simple.
    I’m sure anyone can pull it off.
    First, you need to warm up by smiling and then saying, “Hi,” remember the smile, “I’d like a whatever-drink please.”
    If it’s slow and there is something you can talk about, like the crazy weather and how you forgot an umbrella, then mention it before or after telling her what you want.
    This is important. Don’t bug her if she’s making a drink. Wait at the handoff station, fiddling with your phone or reading the message board.
    When she hands you the drink, you want to “serve” the ball by saying, “Thanks. What was your name?”
    Smile after she gives you her name because it will appear to her that hearing her name made you happy, and then say, “Bye, Hye-min” as you walk away.
    I can’t tell you how many co-workers immediately started talking about the “hot” guy once he left, especially if he asked for her name and didn’t ask her out.
    “Why didn’t he ask for my number?”
    “What’s his deal?”
    “He’s different.”
    Most guys rush intimacy and turn girls off who were initially turned on . Take it slow by remembering you’re only serving the ball. If she gives you her name, then she’s returning the volley. Don’t immediately spike it! That’s not fun.
    Return it and let her win the first round. She’ll imagine you to be better than you actually are if you let mystery spice things up.
    Next time you meet, greet her like so, “Good morning/good afternoon, good evening, Hye-min!”
    For the second round don’t say, “Hi.” Be different with a good greeting.
    Ask her about her day, tell her about yours, but not too much, focus on having fun passing the ball to one another. Then leave like you did last week, “See ya, Hye-min.”
    Remember, take it slow.
    Now, the next time you go into her coffee shop, greet her like usual, “Hi, Hye-min.”
    Talk, have fun, and when she hands you your drink, spike the ball with all your might!
    “I think you’re very cute.” Let her know you’re romantically interested in her with a compliment that alludes to your interest and then finish the game, “Can I have your number so I can invite you out for lunch sometime?”
    Asking for the number and then saying why you want it has been very effective for the men who succeeded. Obviously, I didn’t hear the conversation but I did hear what my co-workers would say, “Oh my gosh, he asked me for my number because he wants to take me out sometime ! I wonder when he’ll call. I’m so nervous. OMG!!!!”
    I know some women don’t like being hit on at work. At my store, four out of the four single female baristas all met their future boyfriends while on the job. I think getting to know a girl and then asking for her number is different than hitting on a stranger for the hope of getting laid as soon as possible.
    Play volleyball. Serve her with conversation and then spike the conversation by asking for her number so you can invite her to lunch sometime.
    I met a Korean girl named Hye-min (pronounced hae-min) using this technique. She worked at Subway. She was very cute. But I met another girl and never spiked Hye-min. In memory of Subway girl, I dedicated this answer to her. That’s why I chose the name in the example. Some of you guys are funny 😉
    UPDATE 2:
    After some great comments about the right way to spike a romantic interest, whether it be girl spiking boy, or boy spiking girl, I thought it would be helpful for everyone if people commented on which successful closing lines (spikes) work on or for them.
    For example:
    “I’m having a lot of fun talking to you,” Spike , “Can I have your number so I can invite you out to lunch sometime?”

  3. No offense but you got a lot of shite answers. I can tell you that, I myself have had every trick in the book used on me and there is no right or wrong answer…. You need to learn how to literally read the room and the person.
    Take a step back for a few weeks and just observe and pay attention to how she interacts with other people and who….
    Is she a sweetheart?
    Is she a “good Christian girl”?
    Is she dumb?
    is she slutty?
    Is she snide?
    Is she a dumb bitch?
    Is she innocent?
    Does she have the gift of gab?
    Is she a girly girly?
    Is she one of the guys…?
    Is she charming?
    Is she innocent…?
    Is she slick…?
    Regardless of what the answer is… ALL require a different approach.
    But don’t panic, it’s easier than it sounds.
    No matter what, there are 3 techniques that ALWAYS WORK ON ANYONE.
    First. Echo or matching. This is the most tried and true method in every sales book written in the history of the world. (Because it works). SIMPLY match or echo whatever the other person says or does. You’d be surprised how quickly you fall into synch. If she says hey… you say hey… if she says sup… you say sup…. If she is formal, you be formal. If she’s crass, you be crass. If she’s a jabber jaw… listen. If she’s quiet and simple… you be quiet and simple. The good news is you can practice this on anyone, anywhere, anytime and you can see how it works before trying it on her.
    Second. Figure out who her very best friend is in the place and YOU become friends with THAT person. Eventually you will have social situations that run parallel with this girl and the social proof will already be there.
    Third – create a group situation and do the “you should come” ask… and “bring a friend”.
    People use this on me all the time and it’s never not worked unless I’m legit busy.
    But either way here’s the good news. It’s SUPER casual and puts the ball in her court and the way she deals with it tells you everything you need to know in how to proceed or not.
    FOR EXAMPLE…. Me and my friends are having a…

  4. Are you a creepy person? Talk to her and get to know her. Don’t invite her out for coffee!
    Ask what she likes to do on time off. Invite her to go to zoo or somewhere you can get to know her.
    Show her that you’re not creepy but a fun person.

  5. Ask her something like “do you come here often” as a joke, if she laughs youre good, if she gets confused, youre too late move on

  6. Sure, engage her in conversation. That should be easy. Tip her generously, trust me, this will actually help. Then just ask her if she’d like to get a drink with you.

  7. Before three to four year, I was asking the same question and curios to find one good answer consists of a thorough process or pattern to crack it.
    After some hard work and observations, I cracked it and also applied technique on some waitresses in hotel.
    If you really want to go for non-creepy way, you need to keep some patience. Visit coffee shop regularly when she is on duty. And order something in some unique way. For example, you can use some unique accent to ask for coffee or dress yourself in unique way so that she can at least remember your face as a regular visitor.
    Then as a next stage, ask her for some suggestions in order. Try to make some unique combinations like coffee with some extra sugar or combination of two thick shake. Make some unique pattern in your order and repeat it everyday. Repeat this until she remembers your order and keep it ready whenever you come to shop. This will create a really good image of you in her brain and she will remember you for longer.
    Now you are at the stage of friendship. Now you can ask her about shop, you can offer some suggestions to make it better. Also introduce yourself in good way and let her introduce herself to you. She should smile every time when she talks to you.
    At this stage, you can ask for outing at her free time. You also need to find her schedule before giving her time. Don’t give her a time in which she has some work to do. Make sure that your proposal for outing don’t go in vain. Ones you get rejection, it will create some bad impression or doubt when you ask her for second time.
    Enjoy flirting a girl. Hope some tips work for you even. 🙂

    Eight O’Clock

  8. I don’t know if it’ll work but I would do two things:

    Make sure everytime you buy coffee from her you smile at her and ask her, being genuinely interested (it’s noticeable), how is she doing, how is her day going. Make sure you listen even she only answers – fine, thank you. This way, she will be more aware of you – there must be many frequent customers and other customers who notice her during her shifts.
    If you don’t feel comfortable asking her straight out – say you are not that great at chatting people up, give her a card with your number and a small note that you always enjoy seeing her and would like to get to know her and want to ask if she’d like to see you outside of her work. Suggest something interesting going on in your city you could take her to do. An exhibition or… I don’t know, you could take her boating on a lake or something else your city offers.

  9. Why not to ask her straight away?
    Just tell her that she is very beautiful and you would like to invite her to have a coffee with you.
    She will not bait you and I can bet she will feel very nice.
    The worst thing can happend is that she will say – sorry I have a boyfriend.
    Good luck!

  10. Why don’t you invite her to have a coffee with you at the cafe where she works
    She would feel safe in such a place, and then you meet her there regularly when she finishes work
    When she gets to know you well enough, you can invite her to other coffee shops

  11. just flirt and see if you can make her laugh and then ask her for her number you would like to get to know her better then set a date

  12. I would not advise going by the advice of just straight up asking her out. I agree though, build a connection every time you visit. It’s important to note if this progresses or not. Try to find some things in common (important to note that this could take months to build, yes, months) then light-heartedly invite her to something you both have in common, but make it clear that it’s lighthearted, and make it casual “me and a few friends are going to be at ______ later tonight, you should come, bring some friends.” OR if you have something in-common that would involve social media, use that: Like “I’m apart of a kayaking club for this area, you should join it on Facebook, we’re always planning group outings and good advice on where to go.”
    If she does not follow though with those, there’s your answer.
    If she does, there is where you begin trying to get to know her better outside of the workplace. It’s also a good idea to begin slowly stop being a frequent patron at the coffee shop/dont make her feel socially pressured (it can be as simple as “it’s getting easier to work out of my house or…Starbucks is eating my wallet a bit, got to step back and work from home more, There’s a different coffee shop I sort of like. Just trying new things.”).
    then just treat it like you would any other pursuit of a romantic relationship.
    Tread carefully though, this is her workplace, not the place to be hit on unwanted. Perhaps take the approach of “If it’s meant to be to pursue this, our paths will cross outside of the coffee shop.”

  13. Is she giving you any clear and obvious signs that she wants you to ask her out?
    If so, tell her that at such and such a place they make the best milkshakes on earth, “Im going tomorrow evening, wanna come?”.
    If she says no or gives you a senseless answer (“Wel…my mothers friends neighbors cat died, and Im going to the funeral tomorrow”), then say no problem, and never talk to her again.
    If she says yes, just go with the flow.
    Dont rush it, get to know her well.
    Good luck!


  14. Buy a cinema gift card for two admissions. Put it on the table and tell her you would like her to join you for a movie sometime….. whenever she likes , and to simply let you know when something she wants to see comes to town.
    Then hope she takes you up on it. And if she doesn’t, use it for another date.

  15. Yes, many of them. They are the same as non-creepy ways to ask any other girl out. People in the service industry enjoy nothing more than being treated as normal people.
    Just be prepared that she will say no. She is likely already seeing someone, and even if not, waitresses get hit on constantly by customers. Your chances of success are about 10 000 : 1.

  16. Asking someone out in and of itself is not creepy. It’s only creepy when the woman doesn’t want you to ask them out, which you cannot truly know unless you ask them out. Unfair, yes I know.
    Just ask her if she’d like to go get a cup of coffee or grab a bite to eat. If she deems it creepy or whatever then there is nothing you can do about that.
    Dating in the 21st century is truly sad. I f…

  17. Hey Quietly Pining
    (Forgive the Ask Amy reference.)
    The fact that you’re asking the question indicates to me that you’re perhaps a little insecure about how you relate to the other sex – and that’s OK! We all have different comfort levels, and just like anything, learning to interact with other people, especially those whom we’re attracted to, can be tough and nerve-wracking. Especially if there’s a worry that we might get rejected.
    Most of the other answers here give you advice pulled from the movie Hitch , or that helpless bro-bible, The Game . Sure, it *might* work for you, but I’ll take a different tack: since you sound a little nervous, why not take the pressure off yourself and just become her friend? You obviously like her on some level, whether it’s how she looks or speaks to you, so I’d vote that you just get to know her better.
    The nice thing about becoming friends is that you’re actually already partway there! And assuming you already have other friends (which I’m sure you do), you know the way it works: be nice, be friendly, be respectful, be curious. The rules for friendship are pretty similar to those for dating, just minus the whole sexual attraction and rejection part.
    I really believe that if you take the pressure off yourself, you’ll naturally get closer to her, if only because you see her so often! I’ve had a ton of coffee-shop barista friends over the years purely because I see them almost every day. It starts with a “Hey, how’s it going?”, and before too long we’re asking each other about our Thanksgiving holidays, and maybe grabbing beers out on the town.
    My only tactical bit of advice is this: like any relationship it’s a give-and-take, so don’t be shy about opening up. You’ve got to give her the chance to be curious and interested in you as well.
    Best case, you two fall in love. Worst case, you make a casual acquaintance, and can move on to the next love interest.
    Win-win, right? 🙂


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